“When a flashlight grows dim or quits working, you don’t throw it away, you change the batteries. When a person messes up and finds themselves in a dark place, do you cast them aside? of course not, you help them change their batteries! some need AA.. attention and affection; some need AAA.. attention, affection and acceptance; some need C… compassion; some need D… direction. and if they still don’t seem to shine… simply sit with them quietly and share your light” – unknown.
~Quote brought to you by Victoria B. ; seen on Pinterest
“Healing begins with acceptance and culminates in letting go. When a great misery concerns, it remains with us for as long as we hold on to it. attachments form because of the energy we use to keep what happened, or the image of what we want to happen locked away within our minds and body–this is the cause of tension in our being. when we hold on to these attachments they travel with us as a burden from our past, to our present, and into our future. they can even be passed on to our descendants long after we are gone.
The miracle of healing ourselves is so powerful, because in movement of accepting and letting go we relinquish the energy of burden not only in our present but in our past and future as well. imagine the time line of your life. now imagine the burdens that you carry as an extra line layered on top. as we let go of our miseries, this extra layer becomes thinner and thinner. it will not change what happened, but the extra energy we carried because of these occurrences will no longer weigh down the time line of our life. what happened, happened, but now these moments are no longer attachments of pain and sorrow; now they are experiences we learn from, lessons that bring us into a present of greater freedom, happiness, and wisdom… “
We all play it, but is it a risk factor or a protective factor?
Let’s start with our brains being bias, naturally bias. Take this scenario as an example: you are online and notice a flash deal for an airline ticket at a super good rate of $200.00, so you book it.
The next day you are back online and find another flash airline ticket deal, better seating than the first, and cheaper than the first, $150.00, so you book that too!
Both tickets are non-refundable.
Suddenly, you discover that the tickets are only able to be used at the same time, and cannot be transferred to a different person!
Which ticket would you cancel?
Similar experiments have been conducted, and what they found was that most people will cancel the cheaper ticket… the perception is that they will be out more money, but either way you stand to lose $350.00 bucks! The cheaper ticket was a better ticket! So why do we do this?
The brain is a pattern maker
The brain is an analyzer
The brain is bias towards the negative
Now the ‘what if game’ (cue suspenseful music).
Have you ever started to image things that you want, ever start to think about future goals or interests, identify things that you have to complete or do, or have to figure out who you want to be?
We all do. I am sure we all have had thoughts automatically creep up, and if we pay attention to these sneaky thoughts, the ‘what if’s’ can be noticed. These thoughts are often cloaked in doubt, problems, or identified barriers. We can quickly talk ourselves out of doing even the most helpful of things! But “What if” I told you this was something our bodies and minds do naturally to be helpful? The human side of us tries to identify possibility. The brain is an analyzer. This is more than a two- sided strategy, and yet we can think about it as the interconnection between what we want (our hopes, goals, advances) and what may get in the way (barriers, risks, probabilities). Our natural way of thinking is bias towards the negative. We can quickly identify what can go wrong. By doing this evaluation our thoughts allows us an opportunity.
Yes, that is right! An opportunity. An opportunity to strategize and create a plan, if used at our advantage, we can strategize and plan for the adversity that no doubt will be an aspect of our reality. If negative thoughts are used at our disadvantage, we can see the emotional intensity that ‘what if’ can create. Fear, guilt, sorrow – these emotions are powerful, even debilitating.
Yet, I encourage others to make ‘friends’ with them as well. Yes, make friends with these really powerful, negative emotions, because within this friendship lives coping strategies, emotional regulation skill development, and not freedom from or absence of the emotion, but rather understanding of its function.
And what a beautiful gift that is, my friend.
So, what if the ‘what if’ game was a gift of vision, foresight?
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