We all play it, but is it a risk factor or a protective factor?

Let’s start with our brains being bias, naturally bias. Take this scenario as an example: you are online and notice a flash deal for an airline ticket at a super good rate of $200.00, so you book it.

The next day you are back online and find another flash airline ticket deal, better seating than the first, and cheaper than the first, $150.00, so you book that too!

Both tickets are non-refundable.

Suddenly, you discover that the tickets are only able to be used at the same time, and cannot be transferred to a different person!

Which ticket would you cancel?

Similar experiments have been conducted, and what they found was that most people will cancel the cheaper ticket… the perception is that they will be out more money, but either way you stand to lose $350.00 bucks! The cheaper ticket was a better ticket! So why do we do this?

Now the ‘what if game’ (cue suspenseful music).

Have you ever started to image things that you want, ever start to think about future goals or interests, identify things that you have to complete or do, or have to figure out who you want to be?

We all do. I am sure we all have had thoughts automatically creep up, and if we pay attention to these sneaky thoughts, the ‘what if’s’ can be noticed. These thoughts are often cloaked in doubt, problems, or identified barriers. We can quickly talk ourselves out of doing even the most helpful of things! But “What if” I told you this was something our bodies and minds do naturally to be helpful? The human side of us tries to identify possibility. The brain is an analyzer. This is more than a two- sided strategy, and yet we can think about it as the interconnection between what we want (our hopes, goals, advances) and what may get in the way (barriers, risks, probabilities). Our natural way of thinking is bias towards the negative. We can quickly identify what can go wrong. By doing this evaluation our thoughts allows us an opportunity.

Yes, that is right! An opportunity. An opportunity to strategize and create a plan, if used at our advantage, we can strategize and plan for the adversity that no doubt will be an aspect of our reality. If negative thoughts are used at our disadvantage, we can see the emotional intensity that ‘what if’ can create. Fear, guilt, sorrow – these emotions are powerful, even debilitating.

Yet, I encourage others to make ‘friends’ with them as well. Yes, make friends with these really powerful, negative emotions, because within this friendship lives coping strategies, emotional regulation skill development, and not freedom from or absence of the emotion, but rather understanding of its function.

And what a beautiful gift that is, my friend.

So, what if the ‘what if’ game was a gift of vision, foresight?